One such e-mail came to me this week and I have been chuckling about it for days. The title was: “How old is Grandpa?” It went on to ask you if remember when there was no such thing as a cell phone, an IPod, McDonalds, and when Coke was a refreshing drink. Pot was that thing your mom stirred up wonderful meals in and most families had two parents in the home.

The one that made me go “mmm” was when there was no computer. Well this wonderful invention is my lifeline to the outside world. I talk to some of my friends who live in town keeping them in the loop when something happens. I just e-mail them all in just a few minutes.

Then there are my friends across the country. My Marilyn McCoo look alike sister-in-law and I have built a relationship that I treasure. I have reconnected with a high school classmates. There are two gentlemen that I had a twelve year close relationships with. We went through divorces, strokes, heart attacks, and many other life changing events together. So the computer, which has been called distant and aloof, can bring people together in warm, intimate relationships.

To get back to the question, “How old Grandpa is”, well hold your breath. He was only 59! Wow, that means I remember not having all those things! How did we ever survive without them?

I also tried playing the piano but starting at sixteen, going to school, and working after school, left me no time to practice. My brother on the other hand started taking music lessons earlier and his teacher was a dapperly dress gentleman name Mr. Lynch. Mr. Lynch would walked from one student’s house to the next and charge the grand sum of .75 cents. Mr Lynch soon told my mother that he had taken my brother as far as he could so the music teacher at the high school took over.

At fourteen he started his first band. His appetite for learning to play instruments was insatiable. He was now playing bass guitar, piano, organ, and yes my tenor saxophone, saving it from gathering dust. I would watch in awe as he painstakingly made sheet music for the band members from the one arrangement he had bought. All of the guys were older but this was Bishop’s band and he ran a tight ship.

Going off to college he formed another band featuring other music majors thus The Mighty Majors were formed. This band traveled the south playing at clubs and colleges. He played with some of the greats like Aretha Franklin and Ray Charles.

Traveling the roads of the south during this time was dangerous for Blacks and a group of well dressed young Black males was thought to be easy pickings for rednecks with an axe to grind. Some of his travels happened during the time when some restaurants were just starting to allow Blacks to come in the front door. On one such occasion, after ordering food my brother observed the cook spitting in their food. This was a really large order so when it was brought up front it was refused. The owner was not happy but she was less happy when her cook was confronted with what he had done and he admitted his guilt. Fired on the spot, this made him very mad. As the band drove down the road, a car full of white men were chasing them. A little .38 gun caused then to back off. My little brother was following his love of music, but the trip was not be easy or safe. I will recount more of my brother’s musical career later!

My maternal Grandmother was African American, American Indian (Tuscarora), and Chinese. She was short, thin, wiry, and had waist length hair. She was very quiet and even as a child I realized there were some strange ways about her. She was my Grandmother and I loved her. I spent a great deal of time with her. I loved to listen to her talk about her childhood working on the farm. My heart ached as a child because I could hear in her voice how she had wanted to go to school. She could read some but her writing was like trying to transcribe the hieroglyphics.

She had lost contact with all of her family, so my immediate family was all she had. I was the one who spent the most time with her and was rewarded with ever thing my little heart desired.

Having been born in the late 1800′s, I wonder what she would think of us having a Black President in the White house? Could she really believe it? She did have trouble with the man on the moon. Boy what a good time I would have with this discussion.

Point is I found some old pictures of a long ago love. Wow they were taken in nineteen sixty three. My heart still skipped a beat looking at that tall chestnut colored face with its thick mustache. He was six foot two with a slim waist and hip. But those shoulders were so broad. He had that slow sensuous walk that only some black men possess. He had a voice like Issac Hayes. A low baritone voice that made me shiver every time he spoke.

He worked as a bartender in one of Atlanta’s fancy clubs. In those days working in places like that often made the person learn manners and debonair style. How I caught his eye I will never know.

I became his lady and was treated like a princess. Dinning out, going to clubs to hear jazz, and walks in the park were incredible. The best part was meeting his parents and becoming a part of the family. His mother took me in as the daughter she never had. I could put in my order for special foods after work and it would be waiting for me when I got there.

I had just finished nursing school and this was my first real romance. I loved the idea of having a boyfriend and a handsome one raised my status with my friends.There was only a little problem. Every week or two Harry would get lost for a day or so. When I mentioned this to his mom she sat me down and explained that this was his way of keeping me a good girl. What a different world that was. This still stands out in my mind as a magical time in my life.

Having worked all my life, I find it hard not to have a clock to punch. But now I blog. Yes, I am putting my thoughts out there in cyberspace for anyone interested in learning about me and what I think.

I love doing my blog but I wonder if anyone else finds it worth reading. My friends have read and continue to read it. Others are finding it and leaving comments so it must hit a cord. Especially those in the medical profession that can relate. Here’s to the next five years of blogging and Looking Back!

My mom worked at many jobs always striving to do the best work that can be done. I can still here her saying that “any job worth doing was worth doing well.”

As I said, she worked at many jobs. There was the shop that sold sandwiches to stores. So she had to be there early in the morning. Walking unsafe streets in the dark. She also cleaned houses. This job she took pride in but kept pushing me to stay in school because she stated “I would make a lousy domestic“, and boy was she right!

Years went by and I grew up and went away to nursing school. As I have said before, the work was very hard and the pressure was great to complete the course. Every time I would call home wanting some sympathy, I would hear the refrain, “if all I had to do is study and go to school it should be easy.”

I did finish nursing school and there was great pride in the family about my accomplishment. So it shocked me when my mom, the long denied English teacher, announced when was going back to school to become, drum roll please ….. a nurse!

I can’t tell you what it felt like hearing my dear mother complain about how hard it was. With tongue in cheek I was able to chafe her for complaining.

Here I was the daughter. A new RN giving advise to my mom and really coming from a place of authority. Let me tell you as good as that was, it felt even better to see my mom finish and becoming a licensed Practical Nurse.

My mom had always wanted to be a teacher but she excelled at nursing. She was smart and aced the scholastic part. But her true gift was her ability to make a patient feel safe and cared for.

Life has a way of taking you on many twists and turns. But sometimes the destination reached is better than expected!

I am new to this thing called blogging and newer yet at trying to write. So when I make a mistake, I will try to fix it. Can I use my stroke from last year as an excuse? Nah, I guess not.

The person I left out of My Circle of Friends is Marcie. We don’t often see her because she has a very restraining job that does not leave her with much time to socialize. But we all love her. I especially have a soft spot for her because when I went on my last job she was one of the people that really made me feel welcomed. Never did she miss saying hello and giving me a smile as I left after my shift was over. Ten strikes with a wet noodle for me.

I think I have everyone now. Well maybe I really need to again thank Joan who feeds my addition to books. She belongs to a book club and I get to read them when she is finished. Are these great friends or what? How blessed can one girl be to have such great friends in her life.

Let me tell you about four friends that technology is keeping close. We are all southern ladies raised in intact families, with morals deeper than the Grand Canyon and just as lasting. We were raised to become fine, upstanding, Southern women who have weathered the test of time. Going to school, having careers, marriages, and families.

Gloria G. is my longest and oldest friend. We made mud pies together when we were kids, and dried them in the sun to feed to our dolls. We don’t get to see each other often, as she lives in Columbus, Ohio, and I live in San Diego, California. She is my go to friend when I need to talk with someone who will not judge me. She knows when to praise me or give me a kick in the pants.

Pat P. is another friend from my home town. I can remember looking out my kitchen window into her front yard. We had a friendly rivalry in school. We were always at the top of our class, but it did not bring out the kind of feelings that kids seem so have today. She came back into my life a few years ago and it was like she never left.

Next is my beautiful tall Cafe Au Lait colored, ex-cop sister-in-law Brenda B. She was one of the first African American police women in Greensboro, NC. Beauty, brains, and bravery in one package. That is not the best thing about her. She is the most giving person you will find anywhere. I thank God she is there to love and care for my brother. I love it when we talk on the computer. Best is when she makes comments about the crazy things we send back and forth. Sometimes we have to use the old landlines to get all of the details on a subject. Brenda you are my idol! And I want to be like you when I grow up even though I am your elder!!!

Last but not least, there is me. Want to know more about me? Go back and read my blog and check out the About Me page of this blog!

Technology keeps us close and in touch. Have you heard the phrase, “Can you hear me now”?  Well with us it’s, ”I can reach out to you, my friends.”

Father Time

Each person will reflect on the passing year with their own intellect and emotions.

Being a person who sometimes feel too much, I will first remember the great pride I feel when I think of our new president, Barack Obama. I also feel fear for the same reason. Martin Luther King, John F. Kennedy, Robert Kennedy, along with Malcom X, can look down and tell us what evil walks this world when good people come into power and have the possibility to make a great difference.

We have lost some people who have been around so long that they were not only famous but icons in our society. Eartha Kitt, Van Johnson, Isaac Hayes, Bernie Mack, Suzanne Pleshette, Cyd Charisse, Roy Scheider, Charlton Heston, Richard Widmark, George Carlin, Sydney Pollack, Ivan Dixon, Harvey Korman,  Estelle Gettys, Bo Diddly, Ike Turner and many others who will never be seen again except on reruns. And will salads ever taste the same without Paul Newman? Then there was also a modern day sleeping beauty that no Prince Charming found the time to kiss and wake up, Sunny Von Bulow.The world is in a financial crisis that no one saw coming. People who thought they had worked and built up a nest egg in Real Estate has seen it sink faster than the Titanic.

WallStreet has had so many ups and mostly downs that it looks like a basket ball in the hands of Dwaynne Wade. People who were put in charge of keeping our financial instutions in order acted like they were one the opposing team and sent them to the discard pile. People with stocks and bonds have seen them disappear faster than anyone could ever imagine.

Prices soared to the point that new words have to be made up to explain the situation. Staycation is a word for those of us stuck at home during the summer. My daughter HILARIOUSLY reminded me that we, Black people, have been experiencing Staycation for a long, LONG, time.

This may all sound black and gloomy but remember it is darkest before the dawn. We have our new president, Barack Obama, who has promised that he will get us out of this mess even if it isn’t overnight. I believe the American people will stand behind him and bring this great country back to a place of pride.

New Year everyone! We will survive and conquer rising to greater rewards!!

I remember all the time we spent together, side by side, sharing the love only true loyal friends can get strength from and never take for granted.

Watching you enjoy your walks in the yard as I watched from the door unable to join you but took joy in your unbrideled fun of being outside getting some “front-side air.”

I can still feel the pride as others told me how handsome you were and how we seem so happy together. I can still feel the pain after the doctor told me your time was short. My heart ached like nothing that can be explained.

I try to be thankful for the time we had. But nothing replaces the feeling of your warm breath on the back of my neck and turning over seeing you smile at me. I still hear the soft foot steps next to my bed and still find little tufts of your golden hair and wish I could see you one more time but that is not to be.

Spice and Sugar you may have been dogs to others but you were my friends, companions, and protectors. My love for the both of you still runs deep. When we meet again, I will love you all the more for the years of love and joy you brought to me.

Sugar and Spice

This is a wondrous time of the year. We often look at it as a time to get those things that are in store windows and touted by each news show and television commericial. But let me tell you what I got for Xmas. Something that will last me a lifetime and didn’t cost me a thing!

At the luncheon in my previous post, there was a new friend. I met, or I should say remet, Betty B. Betty and I went to the same nursing school in Atlanta Ga , Grady Memorial School of Nursing. Being two years apart, we were ships passing in the dark.

We both had worked in San Diego mental health field but had never met. We had heard of each other through our mutual friends. Saturday we were able to meet face to face for the first time in forty nine years. AND IT WAS A REAL TREASURE! There was no learning curve. its as if we had been friends forever. She is a bright, warm, kind person who makes you feel good JUST BEING AROUND HER.

Talking with her brought back memories of a time so long ago. We both had the same thoughts on our experiences at our school and the southern culture, in a time of segregation. This validated my thoughts of my life during that time. This was a Xmas present that money could not buy.

Betty, thank you for coming into my life and bringing such joy. You made my Xmas!!!!

This time of year is when we all think about friends and relatives. I spent yesterday in the presence of ten of the most amazing women a person could ever know. We are on the surface connected by having worked at difference hospitals  in and around San Diego County, and found our way to each other. We have joined together to form a warm friendships and strong support group.

Having worked in the female dominated world of nursing, I never thought that a large number of women could get together without the claws coming out and friction. Well we must be the creme de la creme because despite the difference in our ages, races, religions, and economic status’,  we are sisters in every way but blood.

Cheryl O. is our unofficial chaplain who prays at our gatherings with heart felt prayers. She is a tall, big, beautiful woman with grace and confidence. Next is our Anta P. who makes you feel good just walking in the room.There is a mother earth feeling about her. She is an animal lover and we all like to hear about the stories of her dogs.

We are from all parts of the country, from New York to Callifornia. Rita B. is my oldest friend of the group. I met her in 1976. Rita is a genteel Southern lady with whom I have shared many of life’s experiences. I watched her grow professionally and become a crackerjack Licensed Psychriatic Technician. If I need to talk about something she is one of my go to people.

Gale P. is our real mother earth person. She is one person you can always count on to help you out  if you have a problem. Cooking is somethimg that is her blood. She makes a mean Dessert Pizza. Chocolate, both white and dark, makes the crust then the whole thing is covered in marshmellows, peanuts, and other goodies of your choice. Even though she has gone through some health challenges, she never lets it get in her way in helping others.

All of these ladies are smart and capable people but Debbie S. is one of those people everyone  envies for her abilities to organize her work. She also is a person who never sees the worst in anyone. When I had my stroke she made sure to call me and keep my spirits up. We are QVC shopping buddies and often have the same outfits which brings a smile to our faces.

This is our core group except for Kate M. who was unable to come. Kate is our Midwest girl who’s calm exterior and strong faith is a becon to us all. We speak almost everyday and she is like a sister to me.

There are other ladies who we are just as close to but can’t come as frequently as we would like. But to them I say, “You to are near and dear to our hearts.” To Joan and Cynthia, “we miss you when you are not with us in person, but you are never far from our hearts!”

With just a few day left before Christmas, my mind has taken a stroll through Christmas’ past. I can remember sitting around the table with my mother preparing food for the big day. No microwave in sight, neither was there a food processor unless I was counted as one. I can remember sitting at the Formica table with the big crock bowel cutting up ingredients for the stuffing. On the stove would be a pot with turkey parts like the neck , liver, and gizzard cooking with onions, celery, and spices to make the broth to put in the dressing. No canned stuff was available back then for my mom.

Oh boy was the smell of cornbread from scratch baking in the oven good. Once the cornbread was done we would take a break and eat warm cornbread with country fresh buttermilk. That is a treat you would have to have grown up on. Let me tell you, cold butter milk so thick it coats the glass with the hot cornbread is a treat not to be missed.

Each year my Grandfather would raise us a turkey in his back yard or once he got too sick to venture too far from the house, it was raised in the basement. I remember the last one was thirty pounds! No joke! That sucker was so big I thought it would take my mom on in a battle to her death!! Since this was the days before the turkey roasting bags you would have to baste that bad boy and everytime you opened the oven the smell would make your mouth water.

No self respecting southern family would have Xmas with out fresh greens. Kale, Mustard, Collard take your pick. Today they are a chore but back then it was a major task. Here was a job young girls learned to do early in life. Picking the greens and washing them five or six times was rewarded once they were cooked in the big pot with a ham bone or ham hocks. YUM! YUM! 

My little maternal Grandmother often cooked the sweet potato pies. I can still see her in her apron with her long braids wrapped around her head. This pie could bring on a heart attack just thinking about all that went in it. Fresh real cream butter and sugar. The crust was so flaky that is would melt in your mouth!

This is only a few things I’ll talk about here but believe me the table would be filled with great dishes so wonderful and tasty but it palled in comparison to the fun we had sitting around the table making food for the family. The smell, the noise, and feelings can never be forgotten.

I know that the new nurses are having to get degrees and even being a floor nurse is so much more technical than in my time. Would I put my training against them on the floor? Yes I would.  Because something has been losted in today’s nursing world. The new nurses have great knowledge technicals knowledge, but the art of caring for a patient and putting them at ease doesn’t exist. And giving care such as making sure that a patient is feed, and that they are clean and comfortable, has been lost. Is this true of all new nurses? I don’t know.  But I was in the hospital three years ago and these things I am talking about were sorely lacking.Where is the blance between the highly trained nurse and the nurse of my time who was an artist at giving good patient care? Where is the nurse who made sure the room was clean, the bed was made everyday, and who made sure the meds were given correctly? I don’t know. But when I look back and wonder if not getting my degree was a mistake, I can say unequivocally, NO!