A Nurse's Journey » family

The day of reckoning is in

Lillie — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 23:24:29 +0000

Sitting stone faced as is his now familiar look, the now felon, Dr. Conrad Murray, was sentenced to four years in jail for the death of Michael Jackson. The judge had leeway and could have sentenced Murray to house arrest. But he stated that Conrad showed no remorse and was still was a danger to the public.

Murray was also ordered to pay court costs and also to pay the family restitution. The amount will be set later, but since Murray was in financial trouble when he took the job of caring for Jackson, there will probably be no money coming to the family.

Will any of this bring Jackson back or ease the pain of his children or his many fans? NO

I do hope this will make the next greedy doctor think twice before making the same stupid mistakes and causing some other family the unending pain the Jackson family must now face. Especially Jackson’s kids.

Conrad will have four years to figure out what he will do with the rest of his life. His doctor’s license will soon be gone and for the rest of his life he will be known as the man who killed Michael Jackson.

Where can you go from there???

There were some sour notes

Lillie — Tue, 14 Dec 2010 21:28:11 +0000

My only brother is almost six years my junior so I thought of him as my living baby doll while growing up. By the time I left home we had not formed a grown up relationship. This was to come later. Whenever we have time to talk I love to hear about his years on the road as a musician playing the college circuit as the leader of the Mighty Majors. A band made up of music majors from North Carolina A&T college. Like most people my idea of the music business was one of a fun life style. Little did I know of the hard times my brother went through in the late sixties and seventies traveling the southern roads to go from gig to gig.

I never knew that my brother put his life on the line to pursue his love for music. You have to remember that this was the time when a group of young Black well dressed men in nice cars were a magnet from people who thought they had the right to abuse people of a different color.

Finding a place to eat was always a problem in small towns. My brother told me of a time when his band stopped to get food and whiled the others waited to be served he observed the cook spit in the food. George did not say anything until the food was bagged and brought up to the counter. He told the owner he was not taking the order. She became upset until she was told the reason why. She fired the cook on the spot. “Mister” she said “the only color I worry about is the green of your money!” Getting in their cars they were followed down the road by the cook and his redneck friends. The band brought out some 38 caliber protection to safely finish their trip. This was the sign of the time.

Young artists of today know nothing of what has got them to the place where they, with the right amount of money, can walk into the biggest and swankiest hotels and eateries. Dues was paid. Enjoy what you have but give thanks to those before you who paved the way.

Burn baby burn

Lillie — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 04:03:52 +0000

Nero fiddled while Rome burned but a rural Tennessee fire department let a family’s home burn while they watched because a 75 dollar fee had not been paid.

Gene Cranick’s grandson was burning trash when the fire got out of hand. He dialed 911 and was told he was on THE LIST to not get service. The fire department responded but watched to make sure the fire did not spread to others properties. Lost in the fire was the entire home and all its contents but the worst was the lost of four dogs and three cats.

The fire chief and other city officials are feeling the heat, pun intended, with the nationwide news coverage and are crying “we are not monsters.” Well my question is why not?

Oh yes big mouth Glen Beck put in his two cents in and seemed to uphold their decision to let this family’s home burn. This is a man who makes 32 million dollars a year so if his home burns he can rebuild. Is this what our country is coming to? Each man for himself?

While the home burned, and the fire fighters watched, neighbors came out and offered to pay fee as did the owner who states he had forgotten to pay the fee. He had paid his other taxes for the year.

I am shaking in my boots because in small towns like this will Black people’s homes be allowed to burn down because they ”may not have paid their fees?” Public servants should not have the right to pick and choose who they service.

This type of inhumanity to others is taking this country down a path that can only make us a weaker country. We can’t destroy our neighbors without destroying ourselves. And that should never be forgotten

Heroes don’t all wear capes

Lillie — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 17:09:06 +0000

California is the land of sun, blue skies, and citizens with surf boards under their arms while juggling lattes. Now this admittedly laid back environment is the home of some not so ordinary citizens. In the last few days people going about their everyday activities have proven to be cape-less heroes.

An unemployed gentleman, Victor Perez, having seen an Amber Alert took notice of a car with the missing child in it. He chased down the car and ran it off the road rescuing the young girl. This man did not think of his own safety. He just did what was right. The fact that he is unemployed has not gone unnoticed by people who are now offering jobs to this fine man. Further south in San Diego another hero was unknowingly waiting to spring into action.

When you send your child off to school you expect them to come home with nothing mote than a skinned knee from falling down while playing at recess. The scene could have been oh so much different if I crazy gun toting jackalantern carrying man had his way. This maniac jumped out of his car and started shooting at a schoolyard full of children.

Carlos Partida, a nearby construction worker, dealt out some F150 justice by knocking him down with the behemoth machine and then with the help of his buddies held him for the cops.

This is written with a little tongue and cheek but I think we should thank people like these men who put aside their own personal safety and helped save those innocent children. Remember all heroes don’t wear capes.

American dream gone horribly wrong

Lillie — Sun, 10 Oct 2010 09:09:45 +0000

As a product of the 40’s and 50’s, the mantra was work hard and you could achieve the dream of a good job and a home of your own. Well I went to work and got education as a professional nurse. I spent over forty years at my craft. I married and my then husband bought a home. Well we had arrived. We could afford the things we needed and lots of those things we wanted. Even after getting a divorce, my kids and I lived in a rented three bed room home until we could again get our own home. Yes this single mom, from the woods of North Carolina, was able to buy herself a house that was one she had envied while in her first home with my ex. He would not step up and take a chance at a better abode.

Having bought this house at a later age, I am still paying for it in my retirement years. Making the mortgage is hard but we are holding on. Some people have not been so lucky and have lost their homes.

Banks are getting back homes because people can no longer make the payments due to lost jobs and a myriad of other reasons. The banks are not willing to help and Obama’s program which is supposed to help, has so many qualifying rules you probably won’t make it. Plus they make you jump through so many hoops you feel like the worst failure and give up trying to work with the lender.

So where does this leave people? Well a new phenomenon has come into the picture. People losing their homes are now taking out their frustration by destroying the homes they once loved. A San Diego Policeman and his wife have been accused of tearing up their foreclosed home. There are pictures of them in the act!

This is understandable but did they think of the consequences? Maybe not or they thought like so many others before them that nothing would be done. I don’t think any of the others were caught with their hands in the cookie jar like this couple was. Now besides losing their home there will probably be criminal charges and the husband will most likely lose his job.

I feel sorry and repulsed by their action. Having your dream go up in smoke is devastating. But acting like the criminal you are sworn to catch is just as appalling!

Don’t tune this message out!

Lillie — Thu, 30 Sep 2010 18:15:34 +0000

The television has become a constant backdrop to our busy lives. Most of us have learned to only snap to attention when key words alert us to information we want to watch. This year like so many others, public service messages are encouraging us to get our flu shots. But this year there has been an added alert for the need to get a Pertussis or better known as a Whooping Cough shot.

Seasonal flu, or like last years H1N1 flu, can leave you sick and confined to bed or trying to tough it out while spreading it to others. The flu can leave you with fever, chills, coughing, a runny or stuffy nose, fatigue, aches and pains, and headaches.
The problem can become much worse if you have a chronic illness like diabetes, asthma. or a compromised immune system.

Getting a flu shot has become easier to come by this year. Many organizations are running flu clinics to get large numbers of people to come out and be protected. Neighborhood stores like Walgreen, CVS, and others, have set up centers where you can just walk in and get inoculated. Don’t tune out this message. Go get your flu shot!

The new illness breakout is Whooping Cough. This ancient illness is back and in full force. Don’t mistake this for the flu or a cold even though some of the symptoms are similar but last much longer. After the first few days when the symptoms seem like a cold or the flu, the person seems well except for a cough that can persist, often taking away the person breathe. They then have the sharp intake of breath which give the disease its name. Young children are targeted by this illness but it is often passed on by older family members who have out grown their immunity from injection given long ago.

The prevention for further outbreak of this disease is easy get your shot. Don’t tune out the alerts they just may save a life.

Wanting to be a mom doesn’t mean you should be one

Lillie — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 17:27:16 +0000

I was raised with a strong sense of responsibility and developed a deep maternal instinct. These two virtues can cause me to grind my back molars down to nubs when I witness people that lack either of the two virtues. After reading today’s Parade section about a young woman who desired to become a mother despite having a catastrophic genetic disorder called Type II Spinal Muscular Atrophy, it left me a bit sad and yes angry. Because of this disorder she can’t walk, has brittle bones, and suffers severe respiratory infections, that often has her in the hospital for weeks at a time on yearly basis.

Nevertheless, she refused to be tested to see if she would pass the disorder on to her children. Her retort was what better family could the child be born in if they prove to have the disease. What!

To this I say, if I had you as a mother and you passed this on to me knowing it was possible, I would not be happy to be your child. Why make life harder for your children. Life is a bitch as it is. Can you foresee that your children will have the inner strength that you have? Will they cope with the disorder as well as you have? This is not a given! Mothers should put their children before their desires.

I hope your genes won’t pass on the burden to another human. And I hope you choose not to have anymore kids. I have no more molars to loose!

Wrong number rings up a long distance friendship

Lillie — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 16:51:11 +0000

Five years ago I suffered a stroke which has left me with some instability upon walking and a glitch in my memory hard drive.
My once excellent memory now infrequently has me transposing numbers thus I sometimes dial the wrong number when making a phone call. While trying to call my sister-in-law, I have reached a wonderful woman in Greensboro, and we are now talking like life long friends.

She is the mother of a large family with lots of grand kids. She has spent a lot of time singing in different venues and her love for music is confirmed because each time I call I hear the melodic sounds playing in the background. I have been regaled with stories about her family and her many travels connected with her music.

I wonder at how a wrong number has given me a look into such a rich, full life. This woman is 83 but sounds 45. Young but with life experiences. After telling my sister-in-law about my new friend she had to call her. And she has the same impression of this fine woman and hopes to meet her someday. I had wanted to write a more in-depth article about her but she is too modest to allow this.

I thank my lucky stars that we have connected and I have been allowed to share a look into her life. Mary thank you for impacting my life. I hope we will be able to continue our little chats. You are an inspiration to me. And that is how a wrong number turned into a blessing.

Motherhood is not for the weak at heart

Lillie — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 20:49:55 +0000

A twenty-nine year old South Carolina women, mother of two young kids, killed them because she became frustrated with being a mother. Duh

This women who had two small children close in age and no job, was at her wits end. She had just had a fight with her mother who was trying for tough love and pushed her over the brink. She took a page from Susan Smith’s book and smothered her kids and drove them in the river.

As a mother of two kids I can remember and still feel sorry for scaring my kid. One day I had worked the night shift stayed up all day then took the kids to afternoon activities. After picking them up and driving home my kids asked what was for dinner. I was so tired and the thought of cooking drained all the strength from my body. I asked them “do you have to eat?” All of a sudden the car was very quiet and I turned to see two little frighten kids eyes wide with fright. Well that shocked me back into mammy mode and my kids were fed. How could you look into your kids eyes as the life fades from them without coming to your senses in time?

I am sure there isn’t a mother alive that hasn’t felt she couldn’t take all the work for one minute more but didn’t kill her kids. I am sorry for this women but I can tell her that she won’t have to worry about the kid’s work or anything else because the state of South Carolina is going to provide you with all your needs for the rest of your life. That is unless they decide to give you the hot shot!

God bless those little kids. They are in a better place now.

Some days just make you smile

Lillie — Sun, 08 Aug 2010 21:20:05 +0000

Living in this time of economic instability and shooting of innocent people, we need a day that puts a smile on our faces. I had such a day recently. It may not be important to anyone else but me but thought I would share it with you.

Being over sixty, most of the people I knew as a child that were in my parents age group have passed away. I was surprised when a friend told me the women who was our hair dresser when we were young is still alive! I thought she would be in a nursing home. Boy was I wrong! She is lucid, walking around, going to church, and to the senior citizen center, to which she drives! Now I want to be like her when I grow up.

I called this wonderful woman up and we had the most delightful conversation. She remembered me. We shared stories from some fifty years ago. I was able to thank her for treating me like a little grownup while she pressed my hair with those dreaded hot combs! She sometimes burned the tips of my ears but that was the price Black women of all ages paid to look good back then! What a joy it was to step back in time and talk to an ancestor who was a role model for the young Black women of my time.

To Mrs. Mae McCorkle, I thank you for being a wonderful inspiration and role model. Stay well we still need you!!!

How much is love worth?

Lillie — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 23:12:21 +0000

Recently I read an article about a couple who spent over three thousand dollars for surgery for their six month old puppy who had made a meal out of some cds. I know that there are families with children that have no health insurance or some lacking meals. It may seem shallow to some. But if you are a true pet lover, they are family and I would personally spend what I could to save my fur child.

One of my golden retrievers had allergies. I did not have to fork over thousands of dollars at one time. But over her fourteen years I spent thousands for her special food, medications, and special weekly baths that the mobile groomer lovingly gave her. Since she was spoiled beyond belief, she and her sister got to drink beef flavored bottled water once a day.

How much is too much? Well when her sister was sixteen years old when she lost the use of her back legs. An operation might have helped but at her age she had a poor chance to survival. Being retired and now on a fixed income I did not have the money for the surgery. Three years later I still feel I failed her. But if I had been working I would have tried to save her.

Love has no price for a family friend. If you have the means and a way to save your friend. Do it! They give your more in return than money can buy.

Sugar and Spice

What really makes a father?

Lillie — Sun, 20 Jun 2010 17:40:48 +0000

On this day when we celebrate Father’s day, some may wonder what makes a good dad. At different times of our lives the answer may be varied as our own life experiences shape us. At this late stage of my life when I have raised my own kids, I have a deep feeling of love and admiration for my dad.

My dad was a large man with a big personality and presentation. He was quiet but when he spoke everyone listened. When I was young there were three of us. Another one came along twenty five years later. This was during a time where if you weren’t a teacher or a business man, jobs were menial. My dad worked these jobs but found his way to ones with the best pay and benefits, so we grew up with a roof over our heads and good food to nourish us. There was even a little extra for the Saturday movies.

We started out in a rented small apartment and we moved several times. Each time it was to a better place until we got our own home. As we moved up in our dwellings, my dad was moving up in his careers.

Mr B as my dad was called around town, managed a bowling alley. He was hired as the first Black deputy sheriff in our hometown. Then came his job as sports director at the Job Corp whose sports field now has his name. No one was more suited for this job than my dad.

My dad was a sports man. Tennis, football, baseball, and basketball. He played them all but most of all he shared his knowledge with the boys in the community. In a way he fathered them as well he was a father figure for many of them that didn’t have a man in their lives. He has been gone since 1997, but in the last few months I met a classmate that told me a story about how my dad help him when he was young.

Did I know that this man who I call daddy was such a community figure or that he helped others? No! I only knew that he was there to protect and care for us. As an adult I now know what he did for us and others. One thing that sticks out in my mind was of my father saving me in the middle of the night at great risk to himself.

Folks this was in the early sixties. I was coming home on holiday from nursing school. I usually flew home but this time I talked my parents in to letting me take the bus. To cut this short I got left in a small segregated town during a rest stop. My father got out of bed and drove several hours to pick me up. Why was this big deal? Well back then a Black man in a Cadillac, in the middle of the night, was a magnet for trouble from the guys dressed in sheets.

Do you want to know what this day is to celebrate? Its men who give their all in the thankless job of raising kids who will not understand their sacrifice until they have grown up and raised their own kids.

So dad, Mr B, I salute you and love you because you were a father who gave us his all.

Lavish gift does not a good father make

Lillie — Sun, 13 Jun 2010 17:29:58 +0000

Martin Bashsir while interviewing P Diddy on his $350,000 automobile gift to his sixteen year old son, was met with the answer that he could give his kid what ever he wanted to. Now that was not the question. The question was how appropriate was this gift?

As a single parent who often bought her kids lots of things because I felt bad that I had not picked a better father for them, and I had to work a lot. But unlike P. Diddy my kids came from a marriage and they both had the same father. He just was not father material.

Not speaking for Bashir, I think what he was asking is what will this kid have to look forward to and strive for? Next what happens when someone tries to take away this pricey gift from a child? This is a magnet for the bad guys. Children of the rich have such a hard time any way why handicap them with this sort of gift? Should you not give your child a nice car if you can afford it? Yes. But one of this magnitude is asking for trouble. Besides the lure of this high ticket item, I bet it has the engine of a jet. Young boys and high speed cars are asking for trouble!

Give gifts. But time with them is better and will be remembered when you are long gone.

A City steeped in mourning

Lillie — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 19:09:46 +0000

It has happen again. In less than a week a young life has been cut short. Amber Dubois’s body has been found a year after she went missing. Amber’s family tried to do all the right things to bring her home. They had hired rescue dogs to track her. The dogs had tracked her to the place near where she had been found. Her grandmother had also hired a private detective. She had turned over all the information to the police but they had never followed up on it.

Amber’s body was found on the Pala Indian reservation. Law enforcement is saying they do not think Gardner, the man who killed Chelsea King, had anything to do with her death. The whole city is in mourning for these young woman, Chelsea and Amber. How much more must we have to go through?

My heart goes out to their families May the good Lord keep them strong. May their death rally the citizens to change the laws and keep monsters off the street so they can never hurt another child..

Time to pay the piper

Lillie — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 19:12:42 +0000

Regrettably Chelsea King’s body was found Tuesday afternoon in Lake Hodges. My heartfelt wishes go out to the family. The community which had searched in hopes of bring her home to the family that loved her were heartbroken at finding this amazing young woman thrown away in a muddy grave LIKE TRASH. Today they had the arraignment hearing for her alleged murderer and feelings were running high in front of the court house.

There were demands for stronger sentences for sex offenders and no parole. Some were even asking for a one strike law for people who harm children. Yesterday I stated that we have the voice and the vote to change the laws to keep our children safe. Maybe this will be the catalyst to get things going.

I hope Chelsea did not die in vain and that something can be done to keep these monsters off the streets. To bad we don’t have the same laws as the Middle East where the offending body part would be cut off!

Sex offenders we are putting you on notice. NO LONGER WILL YOU BE ALLOWED TO HURT OUR CHILDREN!

This must be stopped!

Lillie — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 23:36:38 +0000

Living in San Diego California is wonderful. The weather is to be envied by most of the country. It is a big city with a closeness that reminds you of a small town. But that same feeling can lead to a false sense of security and being safe. We are again watching the family of a child being searched for. Chelsea King’s family is going through what no parents would want to have to endure. That is waiting for the return of their child’s body.

Chelsea, a well liked young woman with her own bright future ahead of her, did not return from her run. An alleged repeat sex offender is now being charged with her death. Her body has not been found. Last year we had another young lady go missing. She was in the same age group. Amber Dubois is still out there and that family has no closure.

The person charged with Chelsea’s murder has offended before. Plea bargaining and time off for good behavior let these people out early and the heavy case load of the parole officers make it impossible to keep a watch on them. Anyone remember Jaycee Dugard?

Sex offenders have the highest rate of return. Some can’t fight the urge to stop while others feel that they really do no harm. Many kill their victims so they will not have to go back to jail.

The laws are on the books to allow them back on the streets. We the people have the right and power to change them. Why don’t we use our votes to get people in office that will keep these creeps locked up so our streets will be safe?

To Chelsea’s family I offer my sympathy and to Amber’s family I hope you have a positive out come to your search for your daughter.

OMG shes back and she a flaming flake

Lillie — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 19:19:02 +0000

Last year I stood on my soap box and proclaimed Nadya Suleman, better known as Octo-mom, a flake and a psychotic fool. Well folks she is back on television and my first impression has not changed!

If you saw her interview on The View, you have got to admit she remains much the same. First she will not and does not answer a question straight on. Second she has a laugh that scrapes the paint off walls and if there is any movie director who needs to portray a crazy person she is the ideal model. Dear Whoopie Goldberg asked straight out if she was a “few French fries short of a Happy Meal” (my words not Whoopies), she let out this ungodly screech and wondered around the question. She also tap danced around the question “was she finished having kids.” She should thank God it’s not a crime to be crazy. For if it was, she would be a first class felon.

I am sure this is not the last time we will see Octo-mom. But I hope she will retire her uterus. And if I ever hear that unholy voice again, it will be to soon.

Social networking brings me an unexpected gift

Lillie — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 19:44:38 +0000

Retirement and a chronic illness has left me searching for an alternative method for renewing friendships or forming new ones. This last month I have renewed a friendship with a young woman who was an integral part of my youth. I became a member of Classmate.com on a whim. I got a shock as I glazed at a picture of a face from my past.

In the south friends often became like family members. So here was this young lady that sat around my family’s table, eating, talking, and just being part of the Bishop family. We have been visiting by phone, talking about old times and catching up on each others past and present lives.

It was a surprise for me to learn that she had become a nurse which she said happened due to the influence of my mother and I being nurses. She has also offered some unanswered questions from my dysfunctional family past. But the most important thing has been finding that this pretty young girl has turned into a polished, grounded, pleasant woman.

Reconnecting with her has given me not just a friend but now I have the younger sister I never had. Frances we are now family again. Social networking has truly given me a gift that has enriched my life beyond measure.

I understand but do not approve

Lillie — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 18:49:49 +0000

I am a big dog lover and believe they should be treated as one of the family. This includes their health care. A recent article stated that pet owners were having their dog’s vocal cords clipped so that they could not bark. I think this negates the reason for having a dog. They are alarms for intruders. And a fireman told me they let you know if there is a fire before a smoke alarm does.

On the others side of the coin, yes I can understand why it is done. If you live in a building where neighbors would complain about your dog and could cause you to be evicted I might think about the procedure. But I would have thought twice about getting a dog.

Then there are those with big aggressive dogs that drug dealers have that want their dogs quiet so if an intruder does come in, the dog will attack them without the warning of a bark. But that’s a whole other story.

So where do I stand. NO surgery on any dogs of mine to silence them. Owners need to give them the love and attention to teach them to live without being a nuisance to others.

Oh no she didn’t say that!

Lillie — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 23:42:46 +0000

Oprah Winfrey is one of the richest and most influential women in America and maybe the world. But on the 29th of January 2010, she made the statement that her live in boy friend didn’t want her to have new dogs. He relented and said she could have two but not the third she wanted.

Now folks I don’t have her wealth and I don’t get in front of people every day and pass out advice. So who am I to say that she is a big joke. But I will say this. If it was my house and I brought in the kind of money she does, the dogs would come in and he would go!

I know this to be true of myself because when my ex left and a male wanted to come into my house, he thought I should put my little poodle outside to live. I told him I was not the girl for him. The dogs were staying and I sent him packing back to Atlanta!

Oprah do you need that man so badly that he calls the shots? You can afford to hire people to take care of your pets so they wouldn’t be a problem. Steadman is pushing you around and you let him.

Get a gripe girl! At fifty you should be strong enough to stand on your own two feet.