The Second Time Around
We have all heard this refrain but when it comes to talking about raising your grandchildren, its not so great. Many baby boomers are finding themselves in the position of having to take up the slack and raise their grandkids, left by their children, for a laundry list of reasons. Some of the reasons include, but not limited to, divorce, legal matters, and substance abuse. The 2000 census stated that 5.5 million grandparents are raising them with 2.5 million having sole custody of their grandchildren. I am aware of many cases but below is one case that I have intimate knowledge of. These kids are one of the lucky ones.
I have a friend that had two hours to decide whether to take in his grandkids or leave them to the system. Being the kind person that he is, and there being no other option, he brought them in. My friend had just retired from two careers and is set financially. He had planned on traveling and doing all the things you dream of doing while working. Then came three little ones. A three month old, a two year old, and a three year old. A handful for a young person, but a daunting task for a 63 year old man.
Bottles, diapers, and manners training is left to this sweet, darling man. He has rose to the occasion and should be awarded a medal for his efforts. He also has to deal with all the red tape that’s thrown at you when are in this position. Everything you do is studied under the system’s magnifying glass. He is having to jump through the system’s hoops, just to keep his grandchildren from going into the system and becoming another statistic. The only thing that makes it bearable is seeing the youngsters thrive under loving care sprinkled with kind discipline. These grandkids are the lucky one. Others don’t fare so well.
Grandparents are often trying to stretch an already limited budget and their waning physical strength, takes a toll on them. There is no present answer for this problem but hopefully this administration can help with needed financial help and other resources.
To all the grandparents finding themselves in this catch twenty two. Keep the faith and be strong. You will be rewarded in the long run and your grandchildren will be better people because of it!
January 28th, 2009 at 7:39 pm
God bless the grandparents who are trying to raise a generation that is foreign to them. Having worked with children in the system, I saw this a lot. But I also know that while the grandkid might not tell grandma and grandpa that they love and appreciate them, privately, they did it all of the time!
January 31st, 2009 at 10:47 am
Thank you so much for exposing this new trend in parenthood. I couldn’t have written this article any better. Sometimes we of the elder generation still have to give of ourselves to our children, and children childrens, the lessons in life missed by one, but must be corrected and taught to the innocent yet to live. Odds are, one of these generations will get it right or the cycle will certainly continue for generations yet to come. God doesn’t make mistakes, there is always a reason for lifes directions. When the time is right, our eyes will be opened and all will be clear. Until such time we live and give by faith and his word.
January 31st, 2009 at 5:35 pm
Life does not get easier as we go along but I think the measure of what a person is can be seen in how they step up to the plate. All the grandparents rising kids this second time around should already have a set of wings and halo picked out for them. Thanks for doing what your children could not.